Burnout Doesn’t Always Look Like Collapse
Why leaders need to prioritise themselves - and how it helps their teams too.
In 2023, I didn’t crash. I didn’t walk out dramatically or hit a rock bottom. I simply kept showing up. Exhausted, disconnected, and running on autopilot. I was doing ‘fine’ on paper. But inside, I was numb. My calendar was full, my role was clear, and yet my purpose - my why - was missing.
Looking back, I know now that I was deep in functional, silent burnout. The kind where you can still perform, still smile, still say all the right things - but every day feels heavier. You’re not falling apart. But you’re also not fully there.
And leadership can be an incredibly lonely role.
And I’m not alone. A 2022 Deloitte study found that nearly 70% of senior leaders are considering leaving their roles for mental health and wellbeing reasons, but few organisations have structures to support them (Deloitte, 2022). Leaders can experience burnout at equal or higher rates than frontline employees, particularly when they feel isolated or unsupported.
In 2025, I wonder if the numbers are even higher - when I first started talking about functioning, invisible burnout on my Linked In account I was amazed at how many people commented and reached out to say how much it resonated for them, especially leaders. Even now, months later, people still pull me aside at coffee catch-ups to say: “That’s exactly me.”
For my personal experience—after 16 years in HR and leadership roles across the globe - leading restructures, scaling teams, 2x growth, down-sizing, right-sizing, guiding strategy - I knew how to support others through change. But I hadn’t stopped to check in with myself. I had become so identified with the role, the responsibility, and the next thing to achieve, that I lost sight of who I was outside of work.
When you can no longer tell someone a fact about yourself that doesn’t involve your job title or the company you work for - something very bad has happened to your identity and purpose.
What I’ve learnt about burnout - and how to lead differently
Burnout isn’t just about overwork. Burnout often stems from a deeper misalignment - when what we do every day doesn’t line up with what we care about. Disconnection from values, from purpose, and from your own needs quietly drains energy, and leaders are no exception. And for leaders, that disconnection often comes wrapped in a sense of duty. We think we have to be the strong ones, the steady ones, the ones holding it all together. But when we ignore our own capacity, we model unsustainable habits for our teams too.
Here’s the truth: how you show up as a leader is the culture you’re creating.
If you’re running on empty, your team feels it. If you’re in survival mode, they’re likely just behind you.
Harvard Business Review and McKinsey both highlight that a strong sense of purpose is one of the strongest predictors of resilience in leadership. And if you’re disconnected from your own purpose, it’s hard to create meaning for others.
How I reconnected
When I realised I’d lost myself in the role, I stepped away. Not forever - but long enough to listen again. I packed a backpack, travelled, volunteered with refugee communities in Lebanon and indigenous communities in Guatemala, and even pushed myself to learn a new language so I could communicate more fully.
At the time, it felt like a break. But looking back, I can see it was also me living my purpose. My deepest driver has always been to connect people - with each other, with their own purpose and with something bigger than themselves.
That’s why I’ve always loved working in People & Culture leadership roles. That’s why I thrived in volunteering. And that’s why I kept showing up to language classes: to connect with those I wanted to support.
Purpose doesn’t sit in a perfect sentence. It shows up in the moments that feel most real, that make us feel most energised.
So, what can you do?
You don’t have to quit your job or move across the world to reconnect with yourself (though I do recommend a decent break, if you can swing it!)
But you do need to pause regularly and ask:
Is how I’m working aligned with what matters to me?
Am I leading from a place of values, or from habit and pressure?
What genuinely energises me in my work right now - and what quietly drains me?
Am I leading from my values, or just running on habit and pressure?
If my job title disappeared tomorrow, what would I still stand for?
What am I modelling to my team: resilience and clarity, or overwork and depletion?
If I had no fear of failure, what would I change about how I lead?
And if you’re in a position to support others:
Make space for real conversations about capacity and wellbeing.
Invest in development that focuses on mindset, not just skillset.
Encourage your team to see themselves as more than their roles.
Supporting others starts with supporting yourself
Did you know? Psychological safety is the #1 factor in high-performing teams and directly shapes the wellbeing of your team and it starts with how leaders model vulnerability, self-regulation, and balance (Google re:work; McKinsey, 2023). Research shows that leaders who role model psychological safety and self-awareness build more resilient, high-trust cultures.
It starts with how you show up.
Final thought
Functioning burnout is real - but so is the possibility of leading with energy, meaning and humanity.
Because leadership doesn’t have to cost you your wellbeing. The best leaders aren’t the ones who grind themselves down. They’re the ones who’ve learned to lead themselves first.
