The #1 Shift Every Manager Needs to Make to Become a Leader
More Responsibility Doesn’t Equal Leadership.
A new title. A bigger team. More decisions on your plate. But the thing is - none of that automatically makes you a leader.
I’ve coached and mentored countless capable managers who are stuck. Not because they lack skill or effort, but because they haven’t made the shift. The one mindset change that unlocks real leadership. And it's this:
The #1 Shift: From Control to Ownership
Managers often focus on control- of outcomes, people, timelines, risk. It makes sense. It’s how most of us get promoted: by being reliable, efficient, and on top of everything.
But leaders trade control for ownership.
Ownership isn’t about doing everything yourself, it’s about holding space for others to step up. It means:
Trusting your team’s capacity, not just checking their output.
Letting go of being the smartest person in the room.
Being clear on the “why,” not obsessing over the “how”.
Taking responsibility for the system, not just your to-do list
The moment you stop managing tasks and start growing people, you cross the line into leadership.
What Control Looks Like (and Why It's Limiting You)
Control-based management sounds like:
“Let me check that before it goes out.”
“I’ll just do it myself to save time.”
“I need to make sure they don’t mess it up.”
Any of that sound familiar? This creates dependency. Teams hesitate. You burn out. And nobody grows.
In fast-paced environments, this mindset leads to bottlenecks, disengagement, and missed leadership potential.
What Ownership Looks Like in Practice
Ownership- based leadership sounds like:
“What support do you need to run with this?”
“Here’s the outcome- how would you approach it?”
“I trust your judgement. Keep me in the loop as needed.”
“What do you intend to do next?”*
*David Marquet, former submarine captain and leadership author, championed this simple question to build accountability. It shifts the dynamic from permission seeking to responsibility sharing.
Ownership thrives in environments where people feel safe to speak up and take risks. As Amy Edmondson’s research on psychological safety shows, when people fear being judged or punished for mistakes, they’ll default to compliance instead of initiative.
Leaders who trade control for ownership also take responsibility for creating that safety- so others feel confident stepping in.
Ownership doesn’t mean stepping back completely. It means discussing outcomes, checking in and offering support and stepping back intentionally, so others can step in. It’s the shift from doing to developing.
And ironically? Because you’ve led with outcomes rather than the details, you will inevitably see better outcomes too.
A Self Check-In for Managers Ready to Shift
Ask yourself:
Am I solving problems or growing problem-solvers?
Where am I still clinging to control?
What would ownership look like in this situation?
What conversations do I avoid because I fear losing control?
If you’re finding it hard to loosen control, that’s normal. According to the SCARF model (David Rock), leadership triggers psychological needs like status and certainty- both of which feel threatened when we let go. Awareness is the first step toward changing the habit.
Growth starts in the mirror. And this kind of honest reflection is where leadership is born.
How to Lead with Flexibility- Use Situational Leadership as a Guide
If you're working on making the shift from control to ownership, here’s one practical tool to help you find your feet: situational leadership.
The core idea? Leadership isn’t one-size-fits-all. The best leaders flex their approach based on the task at hand and the confidence and capability of the person doing it. Because no 2 tasks are the same, and no 2 people are the same!
In any moment, ask yourself:
Is this a teaching moment?
→ When the person is new to the task or lacks skill, direct support and instruction are helpful.Is this a managing moment?
→ If they’ve done it before but are still building confidence, clear expectations, structure, and check-ins can help them succeed.Is this a coaching moment?
→ When they’re capable and confident, step into a coaching or mentoring stance- ask questions, offer perspective, and let them lead.
Even just pausing to ask your team:
“Have you done this before?”
“How confident do you feel?”
“What do you need from me to make sure you’re successful?”
…can shift the dynamic entirely.
You’re moving from reactive to intentional. From “how do I control this?” to “how do I support them in growing through this?”
This shift requires a growth mindset- a belief that people (including you) can develop with the right support and feedback. Ownership-based leaders see mistakes as learning opportunities, not signs of incompetence.
Situational leadership gives you the permission to meet people where they’re at without falling into the trap of micromanagement- and without leaving them to sink or swim. It’s a way to hold ownership while developing others, which is the real work of leadership.
Why This Shift Matters
Leadership isn’t about having the answers. It’s about creating the conditions where others can grow and perform, and being brave enough to let go of the reins.
If you’ve been doing all the right things and still feel stuck, you’re not alone. The leap from manager to leader isn’t about working harder- it’s about leading differently.
And it starts with one shift: from control to ownership.
What to Try This Week
Try one small shift that builds ownership:
Ask, “What support do you need from me?” instead of jumping in.
Let someone else lead part of a meeting or project check-in.
Pause before giving advice- ask, “What do you think we should do?”
These micro-shifts build trust, agency, and a leadership culture- one moment at a time.
Are You Ready to Make The Shift?
Explore my coaching and mentorship programs where you’re not only getting 1:1 coaching - but also mentoring in your leadership, and how you navigate the people challenges from someone that’s been there, done that (both as an Executive, and a HR Leader).
Book a 30 minute no obligation discovery call
Book a coaching & mentoring package
Sources
Dweck, C.S., 2006. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. New York: Random House.
Edmondson, A.C., 2019. The Fearless Organization: Creating Psychological Safety in the Workplace for Learning, Innovation, and Growth. Hoboken: Wiley.
Marquet, L.D., 2012. Turn the Ship Around!: A True Story of Turning Followers into Leaders. New York: Portfolio/Penguin.
Rock, D., 2008. SCARF: a brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. NeuroLeadership Journal, 1(1), pp.1–9.
